urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gerardsdrastic [life is one beauty contest after another] gerardsdrastic 2009-01-13T00:55:26Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gerardsdrastic:626 2009-01-13T00:55:26Z 2009-01-13T00:55:26Z I am not going to talk much tonight, because I highly doubt anyone will listen, or give a crap. I'm just speaking my mind here, saying whatever I feel. I am very angry with many people, for one, my father. He does not understand me. Most people do not. Perhaps I have just lost my mind completely. I admit that I have been quite stressed lately, but there's only so much I can do to control that. So this is me, my first entry, [yippee], Kelly, misunderstood at times but pretty much feeling fine right now. <br /><br />Lately, I have had many questions on a topic that should not even cross my mind: love and marriage. Is there such a thing as &quot;true love&quot;? And if so, how do you know it's real? That it is not a lie? And how can you trust someone enough to think they will never change? [Do you suspect my parents are divorced? Haha] <br /><br />And growing up. On to that topic. It is not fun, high school. I am not one of the &quot;beautful&quot; people. I never plan to become one, nor do I want to be one. I just got out of a relationship that, to say the least, was smothering. Now this [boy] will not even look at me. He gave me a beautiful necklace right after I broke up with him. But I did not care for him past the stage of friends, and there really is no point in staying in a relationship I'm not happy in.<br /><br />And as for normal weights: I cannot figure one out for my size. I feel like I want to become 135 lbs. Oh, to be thinner than that.&nbsp; I wish I hope. I dream. But I doubt it. Ugh.<br /><br />&gt;&gt;GeRaRdsDRasTic&lt;&lt;